


“Trying to live in the song”

by ElephantLoveMedley



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Past Relationship(s), even's first kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:18:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElephantLoveMedley/pseuds/ElephantLoveMedley
Summary: “No way, man. Not you.” Magnus looks wrecked. “I mean, it had to be awful if someone as idealistic as you had to drastically change their opinion on such an important romantic matter.”The boy squad learns the truth about Even's first kiss.





	“Trying to live in the song”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first time I post my work, I hope you enjoy it!   
> I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism or just to know your opinions.  
> <3

“My first kiss? Do you really want to talk about it?”  
“Come on, Mags. That's not necessary.” That was Isak, already four beers in and a cute red blush on his cheeks. All slurred affection and badly concealed jealousy.  
“No, no, you don't understand: it is necessary. I refuse to believe that everyone's first experience with love was...”  
“Underwhelming? Because mine was.” And it's the truth.   
“No way, man. Not you.” Magnus looks wrecked. “I mean, it had to be awful if someone as idealistic as you had to drastically change their opinion on such an important romantic matter.”  
“Whoa. Magnus likes big words when he's drunk...” apparently giving the possibility of roasting your friends is the only way to wake Jonas up from his slumber   
“and desperate for reassurance on his love life.” and Mahdi. A low chuckle comes from beneath my armpit and, well, okay, I'll have to call Mags the next time I need help to drag Isak out of bed, because he is fully awake now.   
I have to witness the slowest cheer in the history of cheers as the three of them try to coordinate and bump their half empty cans of beer together (without spilling any of the content, I'll give credit to it) and then proceed to pat each other on the shoulders. I saw people less proud at the Oscar ceremony.  
“No, but seriously I need help. How can I know when a kiss is good or if she is the one, if I don't have the comparison?”  
“Ohh. You don't need the comparison.” The words are accompanied by a great effort and a look of pure determination in Isak's glassy eyes. “You just know.” And I can't not smile as this awkward boy tries to disentangle himself from under my arm and sit upright.  
“Yeah, man. You don't know it from your first kiss, you know it because you still get butterflies.” I see the same determination in Jonas' eyes as in Isak's. They've already had this conversation: Isak told me once, after Eva and Jonas got back together, but I've never got to hear it.  
“Exactly,” and Isak's face lit up “everyone thinks that setting and words matter, but it's just the person that makes it.”   
And then he watches me, with those eyes the say “I know something that you don't know, but I'll be happy to share when you need to hear it.”   
“Even if the background of our first kiss was amazing, Even.” And he wears this love struck gaze and this gentle smile that it's almost too beautiful to even think about ruining the moment, but I do.  
“Well, our background was amazing, but my first kiss had a setting that was Oscar worthy.”  
Angry green eyes, a choir of Whoa's and my laughter fill the room.  
“Whaaat?” It's Magnus that speaks first. “You're telling us that you had a magical location or shit like that and you still managed to get an “underwhelming” kiss. No way.”  
“You're bluffing.” The statement is highlighted by a not so gentle shove by Isak.  
“I'm not lying: everything that you can describe was perfect. It was snowing, the stars where out, she had deep blue eyes, the fire was crackling and everything. It was all very poetic, but something was just off.”  
“Go on.” Mahdi stares at me like I just confessed a heresy. “I can't believe you had all these things and the sparkle didn't ignite. I mean, you can't even blame it on her being a bad kisser: it was your first kiss, you didn't have experience, you couldn't know shit.”  
“Yeah, Even. He is right. I'm sorry, but I think you're saying it just to don't hurt Isak.”  
“I'm not hurt, Jonas.” says a really annoyed Isak, rolling his eyes. “If he says so, it's true. There's nothing to be worried about.”  
“Well, are you not curious about it now?” and god damn, Magnus, you had to touch all the soft spots, didn't you?  
“I sure as hell am. Go on.” The words float between me and Jonas, hung in the air, as I search for Isak's eyes. I could tell him in private.  
He shrugs.  
I start.  
“Okay, prepare for a ride and remember that what's past is prologue, as the good old Willy said” I lock my eyes with Isak and he scoffs, but he's smiling. “In my defence I have to say that I wasn't as sure as I am now about my ideas and my ideals, especially about the power of love and its importance.”  
I smile at my public, take a deep breath and begin.  
“It was the first time I was on holiday alone with my friends. It was one of those winter vacations organized by schools just before the Christmas holidays and I was desperate to try what a kiss was like. I felt so old and ready for it and I was starting to perceive a bit of pressure, because two of my friends had already had their first kiss, one of them during that vacation. It was the last night and I was out at the hotel bar with my friends, when a group of girls approached us and we started talking. They were from a different school and would have stayed there two more days. After ten minutes, the girl beside me asks me if I wanted to go for a walk and I agree, because of course.”  
“Was she pretty?”  
“Yes, Magnus, she was really pretty. However, we go for a walk and have an awkward chat about friends and schools and Christmas, but, as we stepped further away from the hotel and I watched my feet to avoid her gaze, I realized that it had started snowing. So I tell her, I turn on myself and I see that the concrete behind me was still black, while I was standing over a white carpet. We were there at the end of the night sky and at the beginning of the snowstorm, with a trail of invisible footsteps at our back and the possibility of creating infinite patterns ahead of us. She took my hand and led me under a big pine tree, we watched the snow fall silently and we smiled at each other, I asked her what she wanted to do, what her intentions where. You know, I didn't want to have to stop in the middle of a make out session to tell her I didn't want to have sex, I wanted to be sure that she wasn't looking for it?”  
“You didn't want to lead her on?” Mahdi looks at me skeptic. “Dude, she probably wouldn't have wanted to go there if it was your first kiss.”  
“Come on, don't judge him. Communication is key.” Magnus is looking at me as if I'm reading Cinderella or something like that. “Please, go on, Even.”  
Isak is once again burrowed in my arms, so I keep talking.  
“We were under the pine tree, snow was falling all around us and the lights of the fireplace of the hotel were a nice reminder of our limited time. She kept talking and telling me nice things, everything was a bit shallow, but I was too nervous to notice. I talked about space and the moon and she sang a song for me, just because our conversation reminded her of the lyrics. She pointed out the stars and made me watch them and learn them. And then she leant in, with more purpose than I had expected and began to kiss me. Full on kiss me. Tongue and everything. I was star-strucked. At the beginnig I didn't even kiss back: I had my eyes open and I was watching over her shoulders, trying to put myself together and react. After what I thought was a century I managed to kiss her back, she was heavy on the biting and sucking and I really enjoyed it. It was also the first time I got a hickey.” I smile inevitably at the memory.  
“You're telling me you had your first kiss, your first love bite and an experienced girl on your first time ever and you didn't like it? You're lying, man.” Jonas is pointing a finger my way while scrutinising me over his sunglasses.  
“I've never said I didn't like it. I liked it, she was really good, we kissed all night long on the terrace of the hotel, in front of the firepit till our lips were swollen and the sun was up.”  
“What?! You watched the sunrise with her?” Isak is looking at me with wild eyes. “You watched the sunrise with your first kiss?”  
“Yes, I told you it was something straight out of an epic love story. But it wasn't as good as it could have been. We didn't click. We were just lips and pleasure and curiosity. My first kiss felt like the less magical thing that happened that night: after having seen the fine border between the snow and the world, after the stars in the clear night sky, after the sunrise. After all of this, there was nothing but two hickeys to prove that we even spent the night together. And the next morning, as I was drifting off on the bus on my way back home with the questions and congratulations of my friends buzzing in my ears, I couldn't help but think that everything was beautiful, but it was also meaningless. The stars would have had a deeper meaning if I had shared them with the right person, the start of the snow would have been more than a beautiful scene if it had been underlined with the right words. The words of the songs would have taken a new meaning. Every love song should have taken a new meaning, but it hadn't.”


End file.
